Thursday, March 29, 2007

oh wells. have another sweet day to myself. its kinda funny, cus angeline messaged me last night and asked me if i had any frens, and a part of me saw the potential in people, the needs they had and the things they lacked, but den a part of me asked myself, i feel so un-annointed nowadays, can i even put it up to them in a nice way, its the sort of, i dunno how to impact them even more.

den today, was packing my file in class, so randomly gave one of those easter postcard thingys to richard. and he made this comment 'i have my own church' den he passed it to darrell who made the exact same comment. and so often i have heard this from people hu call themselves christians, and a part of me so really wants to go, u guys are getting it all wrong man, christianity is not about simply about religious routines and obligations, its not even about taking the 10 commandments as a law and try to follow it, no no no! its not even about knowing the whole bible from cover to cover. sure, being upright, going to church and reading the bible shud all be habits u shud keep as a christian. but christianity is all about tangible experiencial relationship with God! its about taking up the cross and following Jesus, being like Jesus! and living ur life each day with the Holy Spirit as ur guide. How do u know if u have the Holy Spirit, can u speak in tongues? even christians might think i m speaking alien but its really all in the bible, have u actually read it. haha. its like a side of me so wants to tell everyone that. these thoughts flood my mind everything someone tells me i m a christian or i go to church, but looking at myself, it isnt really the open book i want it to be, ironic that such would come from me when i dun even live my life right, so wad can i do but to sit there and not say anything. sigh.

anyways. some people. i honestly dont know whats the hype over really redundant things. like getting a tatoo, pierce here and pierce there, clubbing. i mean like to me its all novelty but some people seem so hard up to try it, to go thru it. for wad? so u can tell others, u ve been there done that? wads the point of it really. its funny that deep inside each and everyone of our minds, we know wads good for us, we know wads important to us, but we deceive ourselves, and we simply choose not to focus, and when it all goes wrong, for the guys, we swear, for the girls, they cry. why cant we as humans seem to advert disaster?

blog surfed abit just now, felt quite disappointed la. its like, she came to this school, den sort of felt this obligation to look out for her. didnt want anything to happen to her. and so when i found out about her attachemtnt 5 weeks into jc life, i was seriously shocked. so i went to ask my classmates about the fella, had somewhat a negative repo. but i was like, she old enough la, can take care of herself, moreover, shes quite fiesty, wont let people bully her one. den recently, learn about it. just felt disappointed la. to the fella, why didnt u think clearly, i feel so annoyed, when people think sorry is all they have to say after they put others thru emotional pain and mental torture, and to the girl, just felt bad, cus i felt there were loads of things i could have done, but i did nothing.

and to shawn. haha. my blog isnt that spiritual la, it just has a verse that used to inspire me loads, and i just talk about God from time to time cus despite the fact i dun really live like how a christian ought to anymore, hes still a part of my life, other than that, the blog just reveals a more emo and reflective side of me from time to time that the lame person everyone sees me to be simply just covers up for.

|cowpoo| 10:12 AM|

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